An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him,
"How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said,
"Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says,
'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile,
"We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."